The Z-Files: Alpha to Omega - Arc 01 - Chapter 1

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Chapter 1 - "CRAFT" by Tashi the Templar

A young girl, roughly 13 walks into a grey room. She, in her black trenchcoat, falls into a chair and revolves a bit in it. After a few moments of dizziness, she grabs a cup off her desk. To her frustration, it's empty. She slaps her forehead, visible stress etched on her face, as she proceeds to walk out of her office. Without looking, she trips over an ENORMOUS folder that was precariously laid in front of her door. Tashi picks herself off the floor to contemplates the folder.

Tashi: Since when did I get personal mailing service?

Obviously, she hadn't seen the bold red address on the folder. It clearly indicated that it was from her superior, Bingo. No not the dog. Assistant Director Bingo. Tashi finally noticed that inexcusable detail and opened the folder up... to see the giant, revolving, shadowed hologram head of Bingo.

Tashi: AHHH! Damn it! Don't scare me like that! You have a big enough head already!

Bingo: That's no way to greet your superior, Agent T.

Tashi: Agent T? Wha? OH, you mean ME?

Bingo(rolls eyes): Yes. Let me brief you on your objectives. You and your partners' first job is to...

Tashi: Wait, wait. Let me get this straight. I have MULTIPLE partners? I thought cool agents only had one... just how many do I have?

Bingo: Don't you know anything? Gawd! You're writing this stupid story!

Tashi: True. But I'm making this all up along as I go.

Bingo: Anyways, you will meet up with your partners in the executive coffee lounge. Then you can count 'em up. Now, for your objectives....

Tashi: Tell me when I'm done with my cappuchino in the lounge, alright?

With that, Tashi slams close the folder and smirks at the satisfying muffle from her 'superior' face crunch up. Tucking the folder in her suitcase that had materialized from who-knows-where, she heads toward the Executive Relaxation room. Otherwise known as the ER room... waitaminute... for everyone reading this, adjust your seat to an upright position and prepare your INSANE-o-VISION goggles...

In the ER room (gotta love that name ^-^), people in black trenchcoats sipping various beverages, talk to each other as if immersed in alien conspiracies and musings of the origin of Smarties. Anyways, everything was rather hush-hush and when Tornado Tashi strolled in, that briefly changed.

Tashi: Hey all! So, who's going to be my partners. Yes, as in plural.

Everyone looks up from where they are and raise an eyebrow.

A male, 17 or so, walks to meet Tashi.

Odd: That's what we'd ALL like to know. Seems like Bingo...

Tashi: *snicker*

Odd: What?

Tashi: Bingo... heehee...

Odd: Yeah, funny. His name sounds like a circus clown or something, but no one cares, really. So, Bingo brought you down here too?

Tashi: Yeah, Agent O. There was this gaint folder that sat itself in front of my office. I swear that it wasn't there when I entered my office...

Another male comes to their conversation, this time, he's more Tashi's age.

Judicator: Got that 'Bingo's Personal Mailing Service' thing too, huh? We all got that from what I can tell.

Odd nods to agree with Judicator.

Tashi: Seriously? Wow, Agent J.

Judicator: Agent J? Wha? Oh you mean ME? Tashi: That's what I said!

Another male decides to happily join the conversation. He is much more mature-looking and older than the three. Not to mention that he was roughly 23 or so :)

Aaron: So, anyone's got a clue on who their partners are going to be?

Everyone looks at each other, giving each other the 'corporate eyebrow'. Tashi grabs a warm, creamy cup of cappuchino and sloshes more sugar and cream into it. As she quietly sips...

Tashi: *SLUUUURP!*

Okay, as she NOISILY CHUGS down her cappuchino, she checks out if there were any females, besides herself, around this joint. Judicator and Aaron precariously shuffle over to a nearby soda can machine as Odd observes them we curiosity. Tashi catches his direction gives them a puzzled expression. From what she can see, those 2 were planning something... Very unlikely of Aaron. Tashi reaches into her pocket and produces out... a Canadian 2 dollar coin! *GASP!*

Tashi: Hey Odd, got any change for a two-oonie?

Odd: A two-oonie? What in the world is that?

Tashi: A Canadian two dollar coin, otherwise know to us Canuks as a two-oonie.

Odd: Um... no.

Tashi*shrugging*: Oh well.

She strolls over to Judicator and Aaron, who are failing miserably at trying to get a free soda from the colourful machine. Odd looks at the painting that was hung in the lounge. A majority of the people here were fans of a certain game and he loved the painting in front.

Odd: Hmm... Female Player's one heck of an artist.

Female Player: Thanks!

Odd twirls around, obviously surprised. His eyes were almost boogled out of their sockets, which can happen to anybody. There, in her smiling demeanor stood...

Odd: Amanda Zhang? I mean, uh, Female Player!?

Female Player: Yep! I'm also the Queen of Smilies! ^-^

Odd: Yeah... I mean! It's an honour to meet you! You're pics are the best!

Female Player(blushing): Thank you. I am very flattered.

Odd: Say.. who's that?

Female Player steps away to reveal the form of aka Tifa, as known to the people on the Net.

Odd: Aka Tifa?

aka Tifa: The one and only! Me and Female Player just happen to FBI agents too!

Odd(under his breath): Oh the more the merrier...

Saint Faucet: Someone called?

Tashi: Where'd you come from?

Saint Faucet: From the land where no one has played FF6...

Everyone stares at him/her.

FantasyLord: Hey Hey Hey! Don't forget me!

Achilles: Yep! And me, the most handsome of this insane group!

Suddenly, Odd sneezes loudly and sees an unfarmiliar green blotch on his new, sleek black suit. He stares down in disgust and tries to wipe it off with aka Tifa's hankerchief.

aka Tifa: Hey! Get yer own hankerchief!

Odd: I'm too lazy to.

The green blotch starts to mutate and twist into interesting patterns. Odd screams...


He then falls to the floor, his hands clutching his head. He falls unconcious.

Odd: Zzzzzz....

Okay, he falls to the dreaded Sleepel spell that has emitted from the green glop. Aaron and Judicator peer from their soda machine and eye Odd on the floor. A silence ensues...

Tashi: Um.. shouldn't we help Odd somehow?

Saint: Any suggestions?

Judicator looks up and smiles devillishly. He takes a soda can and shakes it like a chainsaw-weilding maniac. Everyone sees his brave attempt and quickly duck behind the chairs. Female Player, aka Tifa, Saint and Tashi dare themselves to look above, their goggles slapped over their eyes.

Judicator: Aaron! Prepare the countdown!!!

Aaron pops from behind a chair and looks at his watch.

Aaron: Um... where should I start from?

Judicator shakes his head.

Judicator: Start from 10! Hurry up!

Aaron(nodding fast): Okeedokey! 10... ... ... ... ... 9

Judicator: Hury up! She can't take much more of this!!!

Aaron 87654321 BLAST OFF!!!! Hee hee!!

Judicator releases the can's contents on the bedraggled Odd. Odd snaps awake, finding his face covered in Pepsi and foamy stuff. He scratches the back of his head.

Odd: Huh? What? Where the hell am I?

Tashi walks up to him.

Tashi(waving hands in front of his face): Odd? Feeling alright?

Odd looks down from his tall view, staring at the 5 foot 1 Tashi. She places her hands on her hips.

Achilles(holding up 3 fingers): Hey man, how many fingers am I holding up?

Odd squints hard and his eyeballs almost roll out of their sockets. His face suddenly brightens up.

Odd: Hey! It's Achilles! What are you doing here man?

Female Player and aka Tifa slap their foreheads in exasperation. Odd's attention span was getting shorter by the minute. FantasyLord steps in, finally getting a decent line here.

FantasyLord: I've seen this thing before. It's called CRAFT syndrome!

Saint Faucet: CRAFT syndrome? As in Kraft dinner?

FantasyLord: NO no no! They stand for... Can't Remmeber A F...

Tashi slaps his mouth shut.

Tashi: Shh! Censorship! Censorship!

FantasyLord: ... Can't Remember A @#$%ing Thing....

Tashi: Better.

Female Player: What was that jibberish he just spoke? I only undertood the F---....

Tashi glares at her.

Aaron: The dreaded CRAFT syndrome? I thought it was all myth!

Saint Faucet: Apparently it isn't. We have a fine specimen here right now.

They all turn to Odd who has taken off his shirt and swinging around like a Homo Sapien.

FantasyLord: It appears that CRAFT syndrome is also very contagious and the only curable way is to balh blah blah blah....

Everyone simultaneously cratches their heads in confusion. It was a funny picture.

FantasyLord: The author added the bla blah blah part because she's falling into Writer's Block.

Everyone nods in apprehension.

aka Tifa: So... what do we do now?

Achilles: I know! We jump into our cool, sexy red car and blast off, blowing the guts out of zombies on our way!!!

Everyone: GOOD IDEA!

Tashi rushes to the door and looks at everyone else. A wicked smile comes to her face.

Tashi: And guess what? I'm driving!


End of Chapter 01

I'm a "unique" individual aren't I? ^_^ Anyways, this was created from my Writer's Block. I still have it. This is my way of relieving some of that 'excess imagination' in my brain :) Anyone has any ideas of how I can rid of this Writer's Block? ... You can continue this little thing if you'd like :D Oh and Saint Faucet, sorry! I'm not sure if you're male or female. It's sorta hard to tell from looking at my monitor. :)

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