The Z-Files: Alpha to Omega - Arc 02 - Chapter 5

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Chapter 5 - "I think" by Arkman 001

When we left off, Mortimer had just been dispatched quite easily. It's time for our heroes to continue on...

Arkman: Ok, since the mouse is dead, :: holds up the mouse trap with mortimer dangling fromm the trap ::, let's start looking for Walt Disney's hideout.

Aaron: Good idea, but where do we start looking? We have no idea where to even begin.

Oddfellow: How about following those signs?

Tashi: What signs?

Oddfellow points to the painfully obvious signs. Everyone falls over anime-style.

Tashi(first to recover): Ok. Now that we know where to start, let's get moving.

Everyone else: Right.

Aaron: Uhm... Ark, why are you still holding the dead mouse?

Arkman: ...

Arkman puts down the little dead furry.

The Z-files crew begins walking towards Walt Disney's fortress, unaware of the inevitable doom that awaits them...


Uhm, sorry...

Madcat: Why do I get the feeling that some inevitable doom awaits us?

Rika: I dunno.

Madcat shrugs.

After hours of walking, the crew stumbles upon a run-of-the-mill, dark forboding fortress.

Aaron: This looks like the place.

Oddfellow: What makes you think that?

Aaron: I don't know. Maybe the large banner hanging from the entrance that says "Welcome Z-files to Walt Disney's hidden fortress"?

Oddfellow: Oooooohhh, maybe...

Arkman: Uhm, I hate to break the flow of conversation, but aren't we missing someone?

Tashi: Hey, you're right! But who?

Aaron pulls out a whistle and blows it reeeeeeeeaaally noisily.

Aaron: ROLL CALL!!!

The whole crew scrambles around until they have moved into carefully choreographed positions. They then begin making ridiculous motions a la the Ginyu Tokusentai.

Arkman (waving his hands around in big circles then falling flat on his face): AAAAAAAAAAAAAARK, MAN!!!

Oddfellow (running around for a few minutes before pulling out his flyswatters and randomly smacking people in the face) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD.....

Odd looks over to Tashi.

Oddfellow (whispering): Psst, what comes after that?

Tashi smacks herself in the forehead and then begins to perform a series of complex hand motions followed by an interperative dance symbolizing artistic freedom and creativity.

Tashi: TASHI!!! ^.^

Tashi looks over to see that everyone else has fallen asleep while she was dancing. Foam begins to form at her mouth, steam shoots out of her nose and her eyes go bloodshot red.


Everyone else quickly jumps up and tries to look like they weren't sleeping.

Aaron (rubbing his eyes and yawning): Ok, let's just finish the roll call.

Madcat: Here.

Rika: Here.

Judicator: Here.

One Winged Angel: Here.

Tashi: Is that everyone?

Aaron (reading off his checklist) Nope.

Tashi: Who's missing then?

Aaron: The short version or the long one?

Tashi: The short one.

Aaron: We're missing Gerudo Pimp.

Oddfellow: Gerudo? Where could he possibly be?

Meanwhile on a Malibu-style beach pad, a group of beautiful women surround a young man sitting in a lounge chair.

Gerudo Pimp (flashing a grin): What? You didn't think I was gonna walk into some stupid trap when I could be chillin with these fly ladies did you?

Cutting back to the Z-crew...

Arkman: Oh well. I'm sure wherever he is, he can take care of himself.

Aaron: Ark's right. We'll worry about him later.

Oddfellow: Alright. Let's bust in there and whoop some Walt Disney ass!!

Oddfellow spins his fly-swatters around like six-shooters.

Tashi: Do you really think that's such a great idea, Odd?

Oddfellow: Nope

Tashi: Good, now let's formulate a plan of..gah!!

Odd knocks Tashi over as he barrels through the front door of Walt Disney's super secret fortress with fly-swatters at the ready. The rest of the crew runs in behind Oddfellow.

Aaron: Odd, that was a pretty dumb move.

Tashi (punching Odd in the arm): Yea! Not to mention rude!!

Madcat: Stop bickering and pay attention. We don't want Walt Disney dropping anymore surprises on us.

A box falls from the ceiling wrapped in gold paper with a pretty bow on top. The box has "surprise" written on the side.

One Winged Angel: Wow, I can't say I've ever seen that happen before.

Judicator: I can...

One Winged Angel looks at Judicator funny.

Judicator: What? Stop looking at me funny.

Judicator averts his eyes.

Judicator: And why the hell didn't we have more lines than this?

One Winged Angel: Maybe because the author is a lazy ass who couldn't write his way out of a wet paper sack?

Arkman: I heard that!!

End of Chapter 5

Note: What could possibly await our heroes in the surprise box? Find out on the next episode: same z-time, same z-channel...

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