The Z-Files: Alpha to Omega - Arc 02 - Chapter 7

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Chapter 7 - "Bad to the last drop" by Aaron Hartman

Due to scheduling conflicts, we've secretly had to replace Aaron Hartman with Folgers' Crystals™. Let's see if anyone notices, kupo...

When last we left off, Arkman was getting brutally beaten by the nefarious Mr. Staccato...

Arkman: Could (BAM) someone please (BAM) get this guy (bam) off of me? (WHACK)

...and Walt Disney was running from the scene.

One Winged Angel: Hey? When did Walt get a body?

Madcat: What are you talking about?

One Winged Angel: Well a few episodes ago, Walt was nothing but a floating head. Now he's written a full-fledged screenplay and is running away?

Judicator(pointing): Look! A plothole!

A plothole floats into the room, spits out Achilles and then immediately floats out.

Arkman: Uh (BAM) guys? (SMACK) Help? (BASH)

Oddfellow (scratchs his head): Should we help Arkman or chase after Walt? I'm so confused.

Tashi (muttering): There's an understatement...

Judicator: Maybe we should split up?

Arkman: GUYS! (SMASH)

Achilles: Okay. We'll use odds or evens to decide the teams.

Everyone gathers together in a half-circle and shake their fists in a rocks-scissors-paper style movement.

Achilles: One... two... three... Shoot.

With a loud explosion, various elemental beams shoot out from the half-circle and knock Mr. Staccato off Arkman.

Mr. Staccato lands amongst some metal barrels.

Achilles: Not what I expected, but it'll do.

Arkman staggers to his feet.

Arkman: Anyone get the number on that truck?

The elemental beams suddenly merge together and a voice is heard.

Voice: By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

Captain Planet flies out of the combined beams and lands next to Mr. Staccato.

Captain Planet: Greetings, Planeteers.

Several of the Z-team members smack their hands across their eyes and groan. Madcat storms over to Achilles.

Madcat: Let me see your wristband.

Achilles shows Madcat his wristband.

Madcat: You have the "Love" wristband? You poor fool.

Arkman: Wait? He's got "Love". I thought (giggling) "Sound" was bad, but... (laughing) love? Love? When did... that become an element?

Arkman falls over laughing. Achilles sighs.

Achilles (muttering): Crummy leftover powerbands... getting left out of episodes... grumble... grumble...

Captain Planet: Don't worry Planeteers. I'll take care of this in a jiffy.

Captain Planet charges at Mr. Staccato. Mr. Staccato throws one of the nearby barrels at Captain Planet. It explodes covering Captain Planet with toxic chemicals.

Captain Planet: No... losing strength. Must rest... The power is... yours...

Captain Planet fades into various energy beams which find their way back to the Z-team's wristbands. Mr. Staccato stands up and looks menacing.

One Winged Angel: Oh great. Now what do we do?

Tashi looks around and spies the can of Folgers' Crystals... I mean Aaron. Tashi grins evilly.

Tashi: Odd, when I tell you to, send out a flameburst.

Oddfellow (scratching his head): Okay...

Tashi lines up and kicks the can of Folgers' Crystals... I mean Aaron... like a soccer ball. The can... I mean Aaron... goes flying right at Mr. Staccato.

Tashi: Now!

Odd fires a blast of flame and Tashi fires a burst of water at the can... I mean Aaron. The can... I mean... aw, who am I kidding? The can bursts open and hot coffee flies all over Mr. Staccato, burning him. Mr. Staccato(high, squeaky voice): What have you done?

Mr. Staccato starts melting into the ground.

Mr. Staccato (higher, squeakier voice): It burns... it burns... I'm melting... I'm melting... What a world... what a worl-urk!

Arkman shoots Mr. Staccato with a Mute beam from his Sound wristband.

Arkman: Shuddup!

Judicator: Now we chase after Walt?

Oddfellow: Umm... sure. Sounds like a plan.

With that, the Z-files crew head off in the direction Walt was last seen running.

End of Chapter 7

Note: Will the Z-files team catch up to Walt Disney in time?
What dastardly traps has Walt laid ahead of the team?
AND, does Judicator's bionic wristband make him sound like the Million Dollar Man when he moves? (strange echo-y, bionic sounds ensue)

Tune in next time! And remember to save often, kupo!

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