Journal - 17/12/01

 Fun Motorbiking 101 with Kevin Sandom - 17/12/01

Course Description:
This course is designed bring in extra money for the CEO , his wife and their pet dog Poochy. The course is designed to inflate the ego of the tutor and make you doubt it's nessessity.

Learning Outcomes:
  1. - Doing a power takeoff
    Outcome 1 involves learning how to dig small trenches using the tires of a motor bike type thing. At the end of this section you will be fluent with such dialog as "Yehaaa!" and "Wo hooo!". You should also be competant at such entertainment skills as positioning the rear of the bike ride in front of an audience or a fellow biker right before initiating the power takeoff.
  2. - Falling off
    Outcome 2 involves many skills that allow you to utilize a force called graverty to remove yourself from a moving (or perhaps no longer moving) object (or objects if you have a friendly gathering with other riders). At the end of this section you will be fluent with such dialog as "Sh*t", "Whoops" and "Where did that fence come from?"
  3. - Fun
    Outcome 3 is one of the easily achived outcomes of this course. It involves such skills bunting the biker in front, laughing and emotional stimulation. People aiming for a mere pass will use such dialog as "hahahaha". More ambitious people will use such dialog as "bahahahah, oh sh*t he took it seriously".
  4. - More fun
    Outcome 4 extends on outcome 3. We basically added it becase we don't know what we are doing and needed to make the course look like you would gain a lot from it. You won't really gain any skills or dialog from this module, however it is a great time filler.
Potential exam questions:

1 - Which is most effective at doing a power take off?
   a) Mum when she's running late
   b) A bath tubsliding down the steepest street in the world
   c) A four wheeler motor bike
   d) A unicycle

2 - Which way is up?
   a) That way
   b) Over there
   c) What kind of question is this? Oh hang on, that's not an answer
   d) All of the above

3 - Which is the most fun?
   a) Riding at top speed on a motor bike
   b) Watching someone riding at top speed on a motor bike
   c) Shooting the tire of the motor bike being ridden at top speed
   d) Picking your nose and chatting up the instructor

4 - What's the funniest thing to say after falling off a bike?
   a) Whoops
   b) Hey grandma, I found your denches, om om, wow they fit me
   c) Those weren't denches...
   d) The correct answer is b

Course Evalutation:
The purpose of this is to look like we are trying to improve our service. If this is your third year of education, this is probably your second course evaluation. This evaluation contributes to an unofficial 80% of your final mark.

Please answer all questions truthfully and remember big brother is watching.
Circle the correct answer.

Does the course cover what you would like to know?
No - Are you sure?
   Yes - Are you really sure?
      No - ha ha, now we got ya!

How helpful was the course?
Excellent | Brilliant | | Wonderful | Other (be careful)________

Would you recommend this course to other people?
No - Read the small print on the student contract

Thankyou for your input. If you have any complaints, Please start at the bottom of the heirachy (ie at the bottom of this list):

  • CEO
  • CEO's secretary
  • CEO's secretary's secretary
  • Janitor who has key to CEO's office (you're nearly there)
  • Important person
  • Important person's important secretary
  • Faculty of stuff
  • Faculty of science
  • Faculty of health
  • Faculty of comerce
  • Faculty of business
  • Faculty of nose picking (just check to see if you still reading)
  • Homeless guy on the street (this guy is quite helpful)
  • Enrolments (What did you come here for?)
  • Tour guide who is currently showing potential students around (This will get you to the top of the list very quickly) [note I've actually seen someone do this. They got told to stuff off pretty quickly, but it was quite funny]
  • Official looking people (you will need to go through many of these, but it will be worth it won't? .... it will be worth it right? .... right?)
  • Dean
  • Teacher
  • Class representitave (Who are we kidding? Do you have a class
  • representitave?)
  • Another student
- Kevin Sandom, 2001

 Quotable Quote:
"He said I'd taken his shorts... I was pretty sure I hadn't." - Oddfellow, 2001

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