Journal - 25/02/02

 Oddfellow has left the building! - 25/02/02

But in his place is Jack Styxx, your friendly neighbourhood skeleton. He's hip to the max and cool as calcium. (Ba-Dum-Kssshhh!) He'll keep you company while I'm figuring out stresses/etc.

"Word up to my Homies, y'all!"
Don't do drugs, kids, or you'll end up like Jack Styxx here, or worse, a Calvin Klein model!

Let's learn more about our boney friend, using an altered version of Odd's Questionaire! Wheeee! (Life just gets better and better, don't it?)

Home: Oxford Cemetery, Main Street.
Favourite Relatives: Being undead it's kinda hard to relate to any of my family, so I guess I don't have a favourite.
What do you think about?: Losing weight. I'm either fat or big-boned.
Favourite TV shows: Ally McBeal, I love just watching it and seeing how unnaturally thin she is!
What's on your mousepad?: I use Odd's computer, so whatever he has on his. An empty can of coke, usually.
In the car, A/C or open window?: I've never been in a car, Odd won' let me drive with him because I kept leaping out the window and bonnet-surfing other cars. And let's face it, who's going to give the undead a license?
Favourite games: Monopoly, but only because I can always beat Odd. I don't play against anyone else.
Favourite Magazine: "Coffin and Cemetery Weekly"
Favourite Drink: I like bourbon but I just can't seem to hold my liquor... literally.
Favourite Sound: When I use my ribs like a Xylophone.
Favourite Smell: I don't have a nose, but living near Odd, that's probably a good thing.
Worst feeling in the world: Playing "tag" with the Wolfman.
Best feeling in the world: Scaring someone. Just anyone.
Favourite thing to do in the weekend: Cruise town in my Bone-Mobile. It's got a car-phone, too. My Dad bought it for me.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: Slightly more decomposed. God, now I'm depressed.
What's the first thing you thought this morning: I wondered where I'd left my right arm, then I realised I'd used it to hang up washing the night before.
Boxers or Briefs?: Neither, I'm a Naturalist.
Do you get motion sickness?: Well, it's not like I've got the equipment to throw up, so no.
Roller-Coasters - Deadly or Exciting?: Neither, they're dead boring. When you're undead the best things to do are, 1. walk into the ladies changing rooms, 2. hang around High School Science departments, posing as a skeleton model, and 3. Buy suits at Balantynes.
Pen or pencil?: Pencil. Pens are just too hard to grab when you have no skin.
How many rings before you answer the phone?: 35. If they haven't left me alone by then, I unplug the phone.
Nicest thing anyone's ever done for me: Didn't remind me that I was a skeleton every 5 minutes... Actually, it was Odd, and I think it's just that he hasn't noticed I'm a skeleton yet...
Where would you drive if you could go anywhere?: Someplace without dogs.
Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?: What kind of undead being would sleep with a stuffed toy? It takes the whole "wow" factor out of being the undead!
Thunderstorms - Cool or Scary?: A bi tof both for me. Noone's told me if bones go soggy in the water or not, so I haven't dared to step outside when it's been raining.
If you could meet one person, who would it be?: Cindy Crawford. I'd declare my undead-dying love for her. *sigh*
What do you wear to bed?: Not a lot, really. Any kind of attire looks strange on me.
Do you eat stems of broccoli?: Not even if I had a stomach to throw up from!
If a girl asked for the shirt on your back, would you give it to them?: A girl would really ask me to rmove my shirt? Damn, there's hope for me yet!
Dream Job: I want to be in the next "The Mummy" sequel. I could be Billy Zane's Stunt-Skeleton!
What colour would you dye your hair?: ... Are you picking at me?
Favourite brand of gum: I don't eat gum. Without saliva glands things tend to get a bit dry. On the good side, it doesn't stick to my face when I try to blow a bubble.
Favourite quote: "Where's the beef?!" Ahahaha!! That one always cracks me up... heh heh... Why? I have no idea...
Have you ever been in love?: I thought I was once, but I figured out It was just a crush. My parents wouldn't have allowed me to date her, anyway. She wasn't rich enough, or something.
What's on the walls of your bedroom?: Some lovely royal blue silk folds. of course, it's hard to see when the lid to the coffin is closed.
Is the glass half-full or half-empty?: Does that kinda of thing really matter?
A song that you relate to: "Wind beneath my wings." - I can't fly or break wind, so this song has kinda sentimental properties to it for me.
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos?: I guess Cool Ranch sounds better.
Favourite Movies: My top 5 favourite movies:
1. Terminator 2: Judgement Day - Best looking skeleton I know!
2. X-Men - Another great skeleton, though the guy who's attached to it is a bit of a pratt.
3. The Wedding Singer - Shaddup... I just like the ending, that's all.
4. Ernest goes to camp - What a crazy dipshit that Ernest is!
5. Little Nicky - Just because it has Ozzie Osborne in it!
White or Chocolate milk?: Just the normal stuff, great for the only part of me that's left!
Righty, Lefty or Ambidextrous?: There's not much of me lefty. Hahaha!!... *sigh*
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: Not really, I keep losing my thumb on the space bar, too.
What kind of Spice Girl would you be?: "Anorexic-Spice" I'd finally be not only understood by hordes of screaming girls, but respected and adored for it!
Favourite Mud sport?: Forget it, you're not turning ME into no fossil!
What's under your bed?: Dirt, mostly. Some worms as well, I think.
Dream vehicle: A Jaguar XKR, just like my Dad's car.
If you could go anywhere, where would you go, and with who?: I'd really like to go to the beach, but without skin it's really hard to swim, or get a tan. In fact, without muscles it's really hard to walk, too.
Biggest Insecurity: That angry little Pekingese Terrier around the corner who keeps snapping at my shin.
Favourite breakfast cereal: "Soul Puffs - Breakfast of the Damned!"
Qualities you find attractive: Skin and hair. Pink is good for skin, too.
Best time with friends: When Me and the Foreman at work went bowling with our heads. Boy, we got trashed that night!
Ability you'd like to have: All the knowledge of the universe, so I can figure out how I'm still alive and able to function without muscle, sinew, skin or any organs... And why woman are so neurotic.

Well, wasn't that just a blast? Hear more from Jack Styxx later rather than sooner. As of tomorrow he'll be doing community service down at the soup kitchen for failing to steal some candy from a baby. Apparently the baby just didn't want that lollipop to go wasted on someone who didn't have any tastebuds. Smart kid.

[25/02/2002 04:59:34 PM | Oddfellow & Jack Styxx]

 Quotable Quote:

"Nothing is useless if you can throw it!" - Oddfellow, 2002

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